Gotta Watch: Crimes under the influence
A man was arrested after attempting to hold up a convenience store with a pair of tongs.
April 17th, 2012
11:08 AM ET

Gotta Watch: Crimes under the influence

Sometimes we get police and surveillance videos of transgressions that are truly bizarre. From strange weapon choices to animal thefts to downright wacky behavior, you've gotta watch these would-be criminals - who may or may not be under the influence.

Armed with tongs

Here’s a new one: this man tried to rob a gas station with hot dog tongs. The customers almost seem more amused than frightened. You’ve got to see what he does before the police arrive.

‘Hangover’-style animal theft

Remember that scene from “The Hangover” where the guys wake up to discover a tiger in the bathroom? Well three men in Australia allegedly broke into a Sea World, swam with the dolphins, and stole a penguin. See what they did when they discovered the penguin in their apartment in this real-life escapade.

Jam session

This man is caught on dashcam video singing an a cappella version “Bohemian Rhapsody” – in its entirety. He gets all of the lyrics right, and only ad-libs once. Listen to his witty improvisation.

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Filed under: Crime • Gotta Watch
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  1. bobcat (in a hat) ©

    HAlthough your cat has the advantage of smarts, quickness and total lack of concern for you, you have the advantage of size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments. Follow these instructions for bathing your cat :

    1. First, dress for the occasion. A 4-ply rubber wet suit is suggested, along with a helmet, face mask and welders gloves.

    2. A Bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred one of these in about 3.5 seconds.

    3. Have the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area before hand. No, blow drying the cat after the bath is not suggested.

    4. Draw the water, making it a little warmer than needed as you still need to find the cat. Position everything strategically in the shower, so you can reach it even if you are face down or prone in the tub.

    5. Find your cat. Use the element of surprise. Pick the cat up, nonchalantly as if you were simply carrying him/her to the supper dish. No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire, the cat barely notices you anyway.

    6. Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom, speed is essential. In one single liquid motion, shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the sliding doors, and drop the cat into the water. While the cat is still in a state of shock, locate the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of him is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Remember that cats have no handles and add the fact that he now has soapy fur. His state of shock has worn off and he's madder than a wet hornet.

    7. As best, you can, wearing welder's gloves, try to field his body as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling. If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles with his body now fully exposed.

    8. During the 5 seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub vigorously. No need to worry about rinsing. As he slide down the glass enclosure into the tub, he will fall back into the water, rinsing himself in the process.

    9. Only attempt the lather and rinse process about 3 times. The cat will realize the lack of traction on the glass by then and will use the next attempt on the first available part of you.

    10. Next, the cat must be dried. No, this is NOT the easiest part. By this stage, you are worn out and the cat has just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg. We suggest here that you drain the tub and in full view of your cat. reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.

    11. If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will be off your leg and hanging precariously from your helmet. Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for wrapping the towel around him.

    12. Be sure cat is firmly wrapped in towel before opening tub enclosure. Open bathroom door, put towel wrapped cat on floor and step back quickly, into tub, if possible, Do not open enclosure until all you can see is the shredded towel.

    13. In about 2 hours it will be safe to exit the bathroom. Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small hedgehog while plotting revenge.

    April 17, 2012 at 11:44 am | Report abuse |
    • dazzle ©

      @bobcat(iah) this is rich and oh so true. I wish I had these instructions the last time I bathed a cat. I ended up in the ER, with stiches, and now have a permanent scar in a sensitive spot.

      April 17, 2012 at 12:37 pm | Report abuse |
    • bobcat (in a hat) ©

      @dazzle ©
      I know, I learned the hard way myself. I too have many battle scars. Love my cats though.

      April 17, 2012 at 12:48 pm | Report abuse |
    • GreedyGussie

      Hysterical.

      April 17, 2012 at 6:29 pm | Report abuse |
  2. Phil Spectre

    Do we have video of Trayvon robbing that convenience store?

    April 17, 2012 at 11:56 am | Report abuse |
    • USA401

      No but i think there is a video of Zimmerman having a nervous breakdown every time someone drives through his neighborhood with a tin foil hat on.

      April 17, 2012 at 12:42 pm | Report abuse |
    • dazzle ©

      @bobcat(iah), I love mine too but now they are indoor only and are self cleaning. I don't want a coyote, mountain lion, or even a bobcat to grab them.

      April 17, 2012 at 12:57 pm | Report abuse |
    • BOMBO ©

      No, but the cat saw the whole thing.

      April 18, 2012 at 12:28 am | Report abuse |
  3. Jeff Frank (R-Ohio) "Right Wing Insanity"

    It's a whole lot easier to pick him up, and throw him into a lake. PpffffFFFFFF!!!

    April 17, 2012 at 12:00 pm | Report abuse |
  4. bobcat (in a hat) ©

    Great Directions here for a real clean toilet!!! easy too!!!!

    1. Lift both lids on your toilet bowl and add a couple of capfuls of shampoo to the water.

    2. Go to the other room where the cat is sleeping, pick it up and soothe it while you carry it towards the bathroom.

    3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (You may need to stand on the lid, afterwards). The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
    (Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.)

    4. Flush the toilet three or four times.
    (This provides a "power-wash" and "rinse")

    5. Have someone open the closest door to the outside (Be sure that no one is between the toilet and the outside door.)

    6. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

    7. The cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where it will dry itself. After this procedure, both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean!

    Sincerely,
    The Dog

    April 17, 2012 at 12:07 pm | Report abuse |
  5. Jeff Frank (R-Ohio) "Right Wing Insanity"

    We had a dude last year that walked into a bank with a hoodie and sunglasses on, with intent to rob the bank. When he got up to the counter, the bank teller recanted policy and said, "sir if you want to be waited on you first have to pull down the hoodie and remove the sunglasses. The man did this and passed the girl a hold up note. The man was apphrehended 15 minutes later after exiting the bank.

    April 17, 2012 at 12:13 pm | Report abuse |
  6. bobcat (in a hat) ©

    There was a cat and a mouse who went to heaven, and they were there at the same time. Well, the mouse approaches God's throne, and God asks him, "So, how do you like it up here?"

    The mouse says, "It's nice, but could I get a pair of roller skates?"

    God says, "Sure."

    So, the mouse gets his roller skates.

    Well, the next day, the cat approaches God's throne, and the same question is directed at him. So, he answers, "It's great! I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!"

    April 17, 2012 at 12:19 pm | Report abuse |
  7. Jeff Frank (R-Ohio) "Right Wing Insanity"

    My rectum hurts when I poop.

    April 17, 2012 at 12:26 pm | Report abuse |
  8. Hey You Too!!

    Be careful you guys.

    April 17, 2012 at 1:11 pm | Report abuse |
  9. banasy©

    @Rawr:
    Thank you, my friend, for your jokes.
    They are sorely needed, today of all days.
    Thank you for the gift of laughter that you have brought me today.

    April 17, 2012 at 1:50 pm | Report abuse |
    • bobcat (in a hat) ©

      @ banasy

      You stay strong my friend. If I can help, let me know.

      April 17, 2012 at 3:19 pm | Report abuse |
    • banasy©

      Can you come over and give my cat a bath?

      April 17, 2012 at 3:30 pm | Report abuse |
  10. TruthSeeker

    CNN presenters Laughing" and making light of a powerful black male threatening customers with an improvised weapon",

    "is inexcusable!,"

    Only the ignorant and the foolish mocker underestimates the deadly evil in a attacker,..
    CNN you should be ashamed .
    This robbery is a "Forcible Felony" ,...not a laughing matter,...
    Real Murders look just like this,...
    Get some wisdom, or be Murdered and then report,
    -"I never saw it coming"-

    -"I'm so Shocked"-"I never thought it could happen to me"

    April 17, 2012 at 1:57 pm | Report abuse |
  11. TruthSeeker

    Police regularly must use handcuffs to protect themselves from 6 year old female children "out of control
    and enraged" see the story here,..

    http://www.baynews9.com/content/news/baynews9/news/article.html/content/news/articles/ap/2012/04/17/Police_hand

    ,...Zimmerman was dealing with a 6'3" 200 pound football playing version of "enraged and out of control" ,...

    April 17, 2012 at 2:27 pm | Report abuse |
  12. Mary

    II am always flattered when some one highjacks my name. Only someone who holds me important would keep trying to discredit myself. lol :) too funny
    @ bobcat, You and RUFFNUTT can always bring a chuckle to my day. thanks :)

    April 17, 2012 at 2:38 pm | Report abuse |
  13. don

    Yet we are suppose to not view them as harmful, dangerous, or any threat, despite your own real life experiences, observations and dealings with them.

    April 17, 2012 at 3:26 pm | Report abuse |
    • bobcat (in a hat) ©

      @ don

      Most cats are not harmful or dangerous. They usually don't threaten unless you pith them off.

      April 17, 2012 at 4:43 pm | Report abuse |
  14. banasy©

    Excerpt from "That Long"

    From four to eighteen, I have changed.
    You wouldn’t believe it.
    Are you watching?

    Look at me now, Eric.
    Are you watching?
    Are you proud?
    Are you smiling?
    In Heaven with God?
    Are you…?

    JB to EJR, April 17th, 2012

    She grieves.

    April 17, 2012 at 4:50 pm | Report abuse |
  15. bobcat (in a hat) ©

    Every morning I wake up and put on a mask,
    the mask makes everything seem alright,
    But they don"t know I cry at night,
    The nightmares just wont go away
    If only I knew it was your last day
    For six years Ive felt this pain
    The feeling just wont go away,
    Everyone thinks Ive dealt with your death the best,
    but without this mask Id be a mess.

    Source: My Mask, Grief Poem http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/my-mask-3#ixzz1sKkcu38G
    http://www.FamilyFriendPoems.com

    April 17, 2012 at 5:01 pm | Report abuse |
    • banasy©

      Something like that.

      April 17, 2012 at 8:05 pm | Report abuse |
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