The race to the presidency now turns toward the general election in November. CNN.com Live is your home for all the latest news and views from the campaign trail.
Today's programming highlights...
10:30 am ET - Romney in Virginia - GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney speaks at a campaign event in Chantilly, Virginia.
12:00 pm ET - Down Syndrome athlete testifies - Last month, we brought you the story of a Michigan student with Down Syndrome who was ruled ineligible to play high school sports because of his age. Today, he will testify before the Michigan State Legislature to discuss the state's eligibility policy for high school athletes.
3:00 pm ET - Gingrich says farewell - Newt Gingrich will make it official today. The former House Speaker will announce that he's suspending his run for the Republican presidential nomination.
CNN.com Live is your home for breaking news as it happens.
♫ Chantilly lace and a pretty face and a pony tail, hangin down, a wiggle in the walk and a giggle in the talk makes the world go round round round....♫
I haven't heard that song since I used to go into bars where rednecks hung out.
I just rad a story on the main page where Romney had to bite his tongue about President Obamas trip to Afghanistan. That is hilarious. He actually swallowed his pride and somewhat praised the president. Time to go into damage control.
Hey Bobcat,Romney also had a gay campaign aid or someone who's involved resign today and they're saying Romneys REAL QUIET about it,trying not get it any more attention than it already has,nice ha!!!
Yeah, I forgot about that. He's also being called out on his swiss bank account. Hey, if you're going to go negative, you've got to expect the same in return.
all of our mOney this president has wasted and your talking about Romney being on damage control? Obama is in permanent damage control mode! Couple billion here couple trillion here. You sir are an idiot.
@Jj- I always wonder were you were when Fmr. Pres. Bush spent 8.4 trillion and then you want to yell when the dems try to fix it with the republican congress fighting Pres Obama for 3 of his 4 year term. Jj republicans always start wars, never pay them off, give money to the wealthy and make the working people pay. It is always the dems the people always vote in to fix it though. Republicans are the spenders. Dems are the debt whiz payoff. If you think Romney will pay this off you are wrong. He cannot connect with the people of US, how do you think he will do on the international circuit? I think we have a president now that has rebuilt bridges with many of our allies. Republican not the thrifty people they tout they are.
A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes. However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting "I don't give two hoots for your shoes man, I'll go and kill my own "croc!," to which the shopkeeper replied, "by all means, just watch out for those two "ole boys" who are doing the same!".
So the man went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. 'They must be the 'ole boys' he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them. The guy stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer.
Just as the beast was about to swallow him, he struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already laying Together the two guys threw the gator onto its back, where-upon one exclaimed "Darn! This one doesn't have any shoes either!".
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.
The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know – it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"
To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom.
She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde."
The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
@ bobcat (iah) ©:
Are these your original jokes? They are wonderful.
She gets them off of a web site called joke of the day. How original...
@ Alan Harper
I believe I said that about an hour and a half ago. And speaking of originality, you have a real winner with that u/n.
@Joey Isotta-Fraschini ©™
Unfortunately, I can't claim the fame for these jokes. They are some I've run across and wanted to share with my friends.
And how are you doing my friend ?
Hi Joey. Hi bobcat(iah) thanx but I happen to be blonde, could you do some brunette or red head jokes? lol
Gee, noone has said anything about Newt the galout not selling anymore pix of himself and nixing the bid for Prez. I guess it is too ho-hum and too expected.
What was the heckler in the audience at Romneys broadcast with Guiliani saying? I thought she was saying he was racist. I think they removed her after a while.
@ScottishMama,she stuck out of the crowd probably because of her being a Democrate and having intelligence.Boy ,she did stick out,LOL!!!
@ Scottish Mama
Just for you, I will change the hair color up. But everyone will say the blonde just died her hair. LOL
I'm blonde, too; when I used to bartend, I heard a lot of them.
They always make me laugh.
And how are you doing today banasy ?
@Pete what was she yelling?
Thanx bobcat. True they probably will. Although it really does not bother me. My dad used to call it dirty dishwater blonde. I think I disliked that more.lol
Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.
Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
3.Fire proof matches
6.Black light bulb
Two Blondes in a Bar
Two blondes came into a bar, sat down, and ordered drinks. They were making merry in a serious way and it was obvious to the bartender that they were celebrating something big. His curiosity finally got the better of him and he says " I hate to be nosy, but it's obvious that you two are celebrating something big. What's the occasion" One blonde replies "Well, we are just sooo proud of ourselves, because we just finished – just the two of us alone – a 50 piece jigsaw puzzle in only 3 days." Confused, the bartender says"So?", to which the other blonde says "Well, on the boxit says 3 – 5 years"
I believe we could go on for the next month and not run out of these things.
Oh, I'm okay.
Fair to middling.
@JF: lol. Read/heard those, too.
Today, we call that 'ash blonde'!
I do not want anyone to forget the unemployment rate when Bush left was 7.8.( like I would let them) (like used for blonde purposes only effect)
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