May 25th, 2012
07:48 AM ET

Friday's live events

The race to the presidency now turns toward the general election in November. Live is your home for all the latest news and views from the campaign trail.

Today's programming highlights...

1:00 pm ET - SpaceX Dragon status briefing - The SpaceX Dragon spacecraft has a rendezvous with the international space station today.  NASA and SpaceX officials discuss the mission this afternoon. Live is your home for breaking news as it happens.

Filed under: Crime • Justice • On today • Space
soundoff (68 Responses)
  1. dazzle ©

    I want to wish all of my fellow bloggers a good morning and a beautiful weekend. Thank you for the jokes and keeping me company on my trip to New York. The dazzle drama is over and I am thankful to be at home intact. Now where is the bobcat joke of the day???

    May 25, 2012 at 10:07 am | Report abuse |
  2. Cesar The Chorizo Champ Of Chihuahua

    They are smoking weed on board the SpaceX Dragon.

    May 25, 2012 at 10:51 am | Report abuse |
  3. ©bobcat (in a hat)©

    One Halloween a man was walking down the street and heard a thumping noise behind him. Looking behind him he saw a coffin following him, upright. He was a bit nervous and began walking a little bit faster. The coffin continued, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump". He began running and the coffin kept up and began opening and closing, ""thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap". Terrified he ran to his front door, and went inside, slamming the door and locking it. The coffin continued, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump – CRASH" it came right through the door, He ran up the stairs, and right behind him, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap, "thumpety thump, thumpety thump clap". He rushed into the bathroom and slammed the door, but the coffin broke through the door – "thumpety thump, thumpety thump crash". Terrified the man grabbed the first thing he could, a bottle of robutusin and threw it – and the coffin stopped!

    May 25, 2012 at 11:03 am | Report abuse |
  4. ©bobcat (in a hat)©

    Old Bubba was fishing along the Bayou for catfish one day when he spots a water moccasin slithering across the water with a toad in its mouth. Being a longtime fisherman, he knows the best bait for large catfish are toads. In a flash, Bubba grabs the snake from behind and carefully removes the toad from its mouth and puts the toad in his side bag. Fearing the angry snake would bite him; Bubba grabs his bottle of daddy's moonshine from his pocket and carefully pours 2 drops into the snake's mouth. The snake's eyes glaze over and quickly go limp. Bubba carefully places the snake back in the water.
    A few hours later, Bubba is just about to head back home, when he feels something tapping on his leg. He looks down and is amazed to see the same water moccasin with 2 frogs in its mouth.

    May 25, 2012 at 11:21 am | Report abuse |
  5. ©bobcat (in a hat)©

    @ dazzle ©

    I am so glad to hear you finally made it home from your "ADVENTURE ?". When I heard about everything you were going through, I just knew I had jinxed you. Sounds like you need to keep your feet on the ground for a while. But I'm glad you made it home safely.

    May 25, 2012 at 11:27 am | Report abuse |
    • dazzle ©

      @©bobcat (in a hat)©, thank you for the welcome and I am glad to be back. I almost got in trouble with TSA Denver when they threw a sealed approved breakfast of mine out and I told him in French to KMA. I then got treated to the body scanner twice and a pat down. No you didn't jinx me except for the extra large Santa's I had on each side of me coming out of JFK. How are you, sir?

      May 25, 2012 at 11:52 am | Report abuse |
    • ©bobcat (in a hat)©

      @dazzle ©

      I am doing very well, thank you. I don't know what it is with the TSA. They have no sense of humor whatsoever. Your reaction to the confiscation was a lot more restrained than what mine would have been. Kudos to you for that.

      May 25, 2012 at 2:25 pm | Report abuse |
  6. ©bobcat (in a hat)©

    A guy walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?" The bartender shakes his head and says, "No, we only have plain."

    May 25, 2012 at 12:03 pm | Report abuse |
    • ©bobcat (in a hat)©

      Ba Da Bump !!!!!!!!!!! Ching.

      Thank you folks. I'll be here all weekend. Try the veal, and don't forget to tip your wait staff.

      May 25, 2012 at 12:07 pm | Report abuse |
    • banasy©

      OMG, Rawr, that is one of the silliest jokes EVER...groan...which is prollly why I'm giggling uncontrollably...

      I could also use some moonshine...maybe it'll knoch the flu out of me!

      May 25, 2012 at 12:14 pm | Report abuse |
    • ©bobcat (in a hat)©

      @ banasy©

      Sometimes it's the silliest things that get the biggest reaction. Glad I was able to get your giggle.

      May 25, 2012 at 2:20 pm | Report abuse |
  7. saywhat

    Good morning@dazzle,@bobcat,@ cesar
    Good to know you are back home after your ordeal @dazzle.
    Thanks @bobcat
    What'll we do without your energizers to get us thru the day.
    Take care folks.

    May 25, 2012 at 12:12 pm | Report abuse |
    • ©bobcat (in a hat)©

      @ saywhat

      Good day to you. I hope they will allow me to keep posting these mirth makers.

      May 25, 2012 at 2:28 pm | Report abuse |
  8. ©bobcat (in a hat)©

    One day, three friends went to this "Gentlemen's Club." One of the friends wanted to impress the other two, so he pulls out a $10 bill. The "dancer" came over to them, and the one friend licked the $10 and put it on her butt.
    Not to be outdone, the other friend pulls out a $50 bill. He calls the girl back over, licks the $50, and puts it on her other cheek.
    Now the attention is focused on the third guy. He got out his wallet, thought for a minute... then got out his ATM card, swiped it down her crack, grabbed the 60 bucks, and headed for the door.

    May 25, 2012 at 12:33 pm | Report abuse |
  9. kellyintulsa

    @BobCat now that was a great joke lmao
    I'm in a great mood today. Last night Cindy, our beautiful and smart daughter graduated. I'm so proud of her and I know so is her dad.

    May 25, 2012 at 1:14 pm | Report abuse |
    • ©bobcat (in a hat)©


      I am so glad to hear of your great mood. You hang in there, it's all going to get good real soon. Congratulatios to Cindy on her graduation. Is she going to continue her education ? I know lee is looking down with such a proud smile on his face.

      May 25, 2012 at 2:18 pm | Report abuse |
  10. ©bobcat (in a hat)©

    PS To whom it may concern. Get a sense of humor and QUIT DELETING MY JOKES. There are some people who like to see them.

    May 25, 2012 at 3:04 pm | Report abuse |
  11. dazzle ©

    @bobcat(in a hat) darn I loved the golfer joke and they did delete it within 5 minutes when I went outside to water my garden. Pinchazos, just like the TSA. @saywhat, thank you for the welcome.

    May 25, 2012 at 3:15 pm | Report abuse |
  12. chrissy

    A subsidiary of Johnson & Johnson recalled 50,000 defective packets of Immodium! Oh poop!

    May 25, 2012 at 7:08 pm | Report abuse |
  13. ©bobcat (in a hat)©

    To all my blogging friends

    It seems that I have run up against the foes of humor, which means I'll have to double my efforts to try to entertain you. If you do not see my jokes posted, it simply means the powers that be have got me staked out now and are actively attempting to deprive me of my consti tutionally gauranteed rights of free speech. What's up with that CNN ? Are you restricting some individuals from posting what they feel ? I mean I would expect this in Russia or China or Iran or one of these other controlled countries, but here in the good ole US of A ?

    May 25, 2012 at 8:02 pm | Report abuse |
  14. chrissy

    Hmmm guess they prefer the gloom and doom, the argueing and ranting and raving!

    May 25, 2012 at 9:07 pm | Report abuse |
    • ©bobcat (in a hat)©

      @ chrissy

      This is hilarious. Not three minutes after I left that note above your post, and all the jokes I posted this morning magically reappeared. Priceless.

      May 25, 2012 at 9:15 pm | Report abuse |
  15. chrissy

    And back by popular request, the one and ONLY....bobcat (in a hat) applause, applause lmfao! And the crowd goes wild!

    May 25, 2012 at 9:40 pm | Report abuse |
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