President Obama will be publicly sworn in for a second term in office today. Watch CNN.com Live for all your inauguration coverage.
Today's programming highlights...
8:40 am ET - Obamas, Bidens go to church - President Obama, Vice President Biden and their families begin their day by attending a service at St. John's Episcopal Church in Washington.
11:30 am ET - Inauguration swearing-in ceremony - President Obama and Vice President Biden will publicly take the oath of office on the steps of the U.S. Capitol in Washington.
12:00 pm ET - President Obama's second inaugural address - Following the oath, President Obama will deliver his inaugural address from the steps of the U.S. Capitol.
2:35 pm ET - Presidential inauguration parade - President Obama and others will participate in an inauguration parade down Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington.
CNN.com Live is your home for breaking news as it happens.
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A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. When they were asked what their secret was to a long lasting marriage they said:
"We take the time to go out to a restaurant two times a week. A candlelight dinner, soft music and a slow walk home. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays."
Marvin Ventner, the football coach was asked his secret of evaluating his new recruits.
'Well,' he answered, 'It's easy. I take 'em out in the woods and make 'em run. The ones that run round the trees, I make into running backs. The ones that run straight into the trees, I turn into linemen.'
Miss Marie Collins, a first-grade teacher, explains to her class that she is a Patriots fan. She asks her pupils to raise their hands if they are Patriots fans too. Not really knowing what a Patriots fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands fly into the air.
There is, however, one exception. Paula has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
'Because I'm not a Patriots fan,' she answers.
'Then," asks Miss Collins, 'what are you?'
'I'm a Baltimore Ravens fan,' boasts Paula proudly.
The teacher asks Paula why she is a Ravens fan.
'Well, my Dad and Mum are Ravens fans, so I'm a Ravens fan too, Paula responds.
'That's no reason,' Miss Collins retorts. 'What if your mum was a moron, and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?'
Paula smiles and says, 'Then I'd be a Patriots fan.'
Funnies by Rawr!
Sublime.
Good afternoon banasy
How are you on this wonderful Monday ? ( a slight amount of sarcasm is embedded into that statement, being that it is the start of a new week ) But overall, I can't complain, ( well I could, but no one wants to listen anyway, so I won't )
@Rawr:
Yeah, I know very little who want to hear complaints; that's why pets are so handy!
@saywhat:
Good afternoon, sir.
I hope you feel better...life is but a dream...
Good afternoon@ banasy.Good afternoon@bobcat & thanks for always being the one to get us morose folks in the right mood.
You and other friends were a missing past couple days
Ty @ bobcat for todays funnies! And @ banasy hope youre feeling better! I got it now so i know how you mustve been feeling. YUK! Lmao! And good afternoon @ saywhat!
No, I feel pretty awful still.
I can't seem to kick it.
CNN cvg ruined by Ari Fleicher's comments. Doesn't he ever put his cynicism on a shelf, at least temporarily?
Good afternoon@chrissy.
Good afternoon everyone. As today is Martin Luther King today I would like to recall a quote of his that I try to live my life by. "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase." Make it a good day.
Lol ty @ dazzle, good one. Faith is also a journey, not a guilt trip as SOME would have us believe, if you know what i mean.
Having fun JR? NOT ME @ 6:02 not dazzle not saywhat not banasy just a bored lil jacker!
Bo
Sorry @ banasy, doesnt appear that the weather is gonna get better anytime in the near future.
My word, grow up, jacker.