February 8th, 2012
08:33 PM ET

Judge orders man to take his wife out to dinner, buy her flowers

A marital dispute has resulted in an unusual court ruling in Florida. Broward County Circuit Court Judge John Hurley ordered 47-year-old Joseph Bray of Plantation, Florida, to buy his wife flowers and take her out to dinner, among other things.

The Orlando Sentinel reports that instead of setting bond for a domestic violence charge, the judge ordered the man to take his wife on a date and then undergo counseling.

"He's going to stop by somewhere, and he's going to get some flowers," Hurley said during the first appearance hearing. "And then he's going to get a card, he's going to get flowers, and then he's going to go home and pick up his wife, get dressed, take her to Red Lobster. And then after they have Red Lobster, they're going to go bowling."

The Sentinel reported that Bray's wife told Hurley the couple's fight started after her husband didn't acknowledge her birthday. She told the judge she didn't get hurt during the argument and was not afraid of her spouse.

Hurley read from an arrest affidavit that Bray pushed his wife, held up his fist and put his hand on her neck but never hit her during the incident.

"I want him to come home," she told the judge.

Hurley's judicial assistant told CNN that Hurley "doesn't comment on open cases to the media," but said the judge doesn't take any of his cases lightly and considers all of them important matters.

CNN contacted the Bray family, but they refused to comment on the case.

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Filed under: Florida • U.S.
soundoff (57 Responses)
  1. Clydster

    My ex gets 1 donut after she stole 45,000 cash from the account and i would have to take her out to dinner ok your honor what ever you say sir oh dont forget the coffee black and one black rose will happy birthday dear

    February 9, 2012 at 4:20 am | Report abuse |
  2. Clydster

    The judge would hold me in contempt !!!!!

    February 9, 2012 at 4:22 am | Report abuse |
  3. Iraqi

    What about my x mother in law that brewha. Would i be able to trade her in for an earlier model. Or would that be a trade in for half a corpse? Some women dont know when to shut the hell up do they thats when it turns aggressive ,and the women get away with there abusive mouths and gamer ways so watch out men they are all the same but they only get worse as they get older. Im a testament to that man did she turn out to be a devil hore brewha ha

    February 9, 2012 at 4:30 am | Report abuse |
    • ingyandbert

      Instead of trying to rationalize domestic violence you might want to go back to school and learn to write a cohesive paragraph.

      February 24, 2012 at 4:43 pm | Report abuse |
  4. Iraqi

    Could i pick up a new model with no tounge and tight lips ?thank you very much

    February 9, 2012 at 4:32 am | Report abuse |
  5. Milly

    I just want to say that Mmmmm, made reading these posts so much more worth my time.

    February 9, 2012 at 6:03 am | Report abuse |
  6. Cindy Sykes

    Men, you get more flies with honey, than you do with vinegar. Buy your woman flowers and dinner, then enjoy a quiet night. Or call her names and ignore her, then endure a night of complaining. She'll be nice to you, if your nice to her.

    February 9, 2012 at 8:31 am | Report abuse |
    • RockoT

      My mom once knocked me unconscious with a baseball bat when I was 10.

      So I'm trying to interpret your post – and all I'm coming up with is you are completely ignorant.

      if your wife is an abuser – you divorce her. It's not your fault, and you can't change her, and it's not because you forgot a birthday.

      One thing a ton of posters in this thread are forgetting, is that when he forgot her birthday – that made HER angry.
      It didn't make HIM angry.

      The wife twisted the story around, now didn't she – somehow he was angry – not her. But that's also something abusers do, they forever twist the story, and it's everyone elses fault – not theirs.

      I don't know this couple – maybe he is the problem. Maybe she's the problem. But I do know that if anyone calls the police, the next call should be to a lawyer. There is no hope for this marriage – just divorce.

      February 27, 2012 at 11:41 am | Report abuse |
  7. Greek American

    Regardless of how angry this woman got or any woman gets, there is never a reason for a man to put his hands on a woman in a violent manner. Talk problems out like humans in hopes of coming to a mutual agreement before getting cops and courts involved.

    February 9, 2012 at 11:17 am | Report abuse |
    • john hillman

      So.. if she physically accosts him, he is just supposed to take it?

      February 24, 2012 at 2:57 pm | Report abuse |
    • DianeL

      to John Hillman. NO you don't take it. You walk away and call the cops. If she is violent she needs to be arrested. No one has the right to attack anyone.

      February 27, 2012 at 11:31 am | Report abuse |
    • RockoT

      The arrest warrant was written by a person what wasn't there – this simple fact seems to always escape attention.

      The cop wasn't there – he wrote down whatever the wife said happened. What she said happened – as one of the combatants in a fight – should be highly suspect.

      It's one thing if you have a witness, another thing if a someone who is very angry about a birthday being forgotten – starts a fight and then calls the police.

      I only wish camera's were rolling – then you'd be in for a big surprise – which is this – women start fights when they are angry and then lie about what happened – all to win the fight.

      She won right. She gets flowers and a dinner at Red Lobster.

      I do agree with you – however, there is no excuse for violence. But I don't excuse women or men for violence – or for using the police as a tool to win a fight.

      Just divorce.

      February 27, 2012 at 11:34 am | Report abuse |
  8. Smith

    I agree with the Judge. That is punishment within itself, because the man is forced to do something that He might not want to do. It also helps to build that relationship. I think the couple needs to seek a Christian marriage counselor to help them and focus on what God ordained in marriage, and work on loving each other and building their marriage. Again I do agree with the judge, as sometimes time behind bars don’t help people to think, but rather become more bitter towards their spouse.

    February 9, 2012 at 12:08 pm | Report abuse |
    • ingyandbert

      You realize not everyone is Christian, right? And that there are good non-Christian marriage counselors? And that and non-Christians can have healthy marriages? There's a whole world out there that includes more than just Christians.

      February 24, 2012 at 4:41 pm | Report abuse |
    • HistoryGeek

      There are a LOT of people making comments here who need to be educated about domestic abuse!

      As far as the woman staying; in an abusive relationship the woman forms a bond with her abuser that is very much like Stockholm Syndrome, plus over the years the abuser does his best to separate the victim from they're support system (friends, family, etc). This means that the victim (usually female) finds herself dependent both emotionally and financially to to point where she CAN'T leave.. or at least she thinks she can't. On average, women in abusive relationships leave 7 times before it "sticks."

      For those who say ... I'd never let a man hit me... These men don't hit on the first date and often not for years. They condition the victim to accept the abuse just like a pedophile conditions a child to take the abuse.

      For those men who are complaining that men are abused too... yes they are ... but the abuse rate for the male abuser /female victim is MUCH MUCH higher and the possibility for permanent damage is much worse.

      I was a victim of domestic violence for 19 years, when I finally filed for divorce my ex broke into my house, shot me and then beat me (off and on-he rested between beatings) for hours. I'm damn lucky to be alive and today I counsel women who are still in abusive relationships.

      Some of the comments here show just how far we still have to go...

      March 1, 2012 at 6:56 pm | Report abuse |
    • HistoryGeek

      Oh, and a woman who is in an abusive relationship should NEVER go to couples counseling! If she mentions the abuse at all it cracks his public facade and she'll be in serious danger.

      She needs to go to counseling alone.

      March 1, 2012 at 6:58 pm | Report abuse |
  9. banasy©

    The mad slasher has been here, making all threads safer for confusion.

    February 9, 2012 at 2:33 pm | Report abuse |
  10. jen

    I'm a psychologist and I think the love languages of the judge might be gifts and quality time.

    February 9, 2012 at 6:08 pm | Report abuse |
  11. Cat-Cat

    Greek American, we need more people like you! Thank you

    February 10, 2012 at 12:55 am | Report abuse |
  12. lol

    if i was a woman I would buy that judge dinner then I'd take him to the shooting range (i'm not a bowler).

    February 15, 2012 at 5:04 pm | Report abuse |
  13. ingyandbert

    It won't do any good. Even after the date, the husband will still be a jerk and the wife will still be foolish enough to stay with him.

    February 24, 2012 at 4:37 pm | Report abuse |
  14. Rhonda

    SO funny! Since I am female, here are my thoughts: maybe he should have remembered her birthday or someone else will be remembering it! Don't forget guys when you forget your women another man somewhere will remember her for you! Funny how men and women alike can't remember there own partners but can remember their co-workers or friends birthdays, anniversaries, holidays! Well me and my partner made a agreement not to remember and just treat ourselves together to trips instead. Works really well! Just saying!!!!!

    February 25, 2012 at 1:30 pm | Report abuse |
  15. Barbara

    Hope they don't have a fight and he kills her...women say they are not afraid all the time...doesn't mean they aren't. How many women are killed by their violent husbands...some are never found. I think this was a mistake on the part of the judge. ..what about protecting victims of domestic violence?

    February 28, 2012 at 8:52 am | Report abuse |
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