December 28th, 2012
07:38 AM ET

Friday's live events

The talk in Washington is all about the "fiscal cliff" and what the president and Congress need to do to avoid it.  Watch Live for continuing coverage of the fiscal cliff debate.

Today's programming highlights...

11:30 am ET (est.) - Senate Democrats briefing on fiscal cliff - Sen. Tom Harkin and others will call on Congressional Republicans to help resolve the fiscal cliff crisis at a Capitol Hill briefing. Live is your home for breaking news as it happens.


Filed under: Budget • Economy • Finance • On today • Politics • Taxes
soundoff (97 Responses)
  1. bobcat (in a hat)©

    Seems a guy was driving for hours thu desolate country when he passed a farmhouse, and before he could react, a cat ran out in front of him and*splat*... he flattened the cat. Out of kindness and consideration, he stopped, turned around and drove back to the farmhouse to notify the occupants. When the housewife came to the door, said he, "Pardon memadame, but I just ran over a cat in front of your house, and assumed that it must belong to you. I know this might be hard to hear, but Iwanted to let you know instead of just driving off...."

    "Not so fast", says she. "How do you know it was our cat? Could youdescribe him? What does he look like?"

    The man promptly flopped down on the ground, and said "He looks like thts"as he gave his best shot at a dead cat impression.

    "Oh no, you *horrible* man", she replied. "I meant, what did he look like*before* you hit him?"

    At that, the man got up, covered his eyes with both hands and screamed"Agggghhhhhhhhhh !!!!!!"

    December 28, 2012 at 11:20 am | Report abuse |
  2. bobcat (in a hat)©

    A Jewish family invited their gentile neighbors for holiday dinner. The first course was set in front of them and the Jewish couple announced, "This is matzoh ball soup."

    On seeing the 2 large matzoh balls in the soup, the Gentile man was hesitant to taste this strange looking brew. Gently, the Jewish couple pressed the Gentile man, "Just have a taste. If you don't like it, you don't have to finish it."

    Finally he agrees. He digs his spoon in, first picking up a small piece of matzoh ball with some soup in the spoon, and tasting it gingerly. The usual mmmm sound can be heard coming from somewhere deep in his chest, and he quickly finished the soup.

    "That was delicious," he said. "Can you eat any other parts of the matzoh?"

    December 28, 2012 at 11:27 am | Report abuse |
  3. bobcat (in a hat)©

    A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"

    The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made ..."

    Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.

    The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved."

    The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?"

    The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.

    December 28, 2012 at 11:55 am | Report abuse |
    • Rascal Rabble

      st bernard bobcat todah any whiskey in that keg?

      December 28, 2012 at 12:00 pm | Report abuse |
    • banasy©

      Hey, Rawr!
      Lovely to see you!
      How are you faring these days, dear man?

      December 28, 2012 at 12:21 pm | Report abuse |
    • bobcat (in a hat)©

      Hello banasy
      It's great to see you too. I'm doing pretty good right now. How about youself ?
      I went into some of the areas affected by the storms yesterday and all I can say is Wow. I feel so bad for these families. I aided some of them in their clean up efforts, but it still doesn't feel like it's enough. When you look in these peoples eyes, it tells the whole story.

      @ Rascle Rabble
      I carry nothing but the finest brandy.

      December 28, 2012 at 12:37 pm | Report abuse |
  4. bobcat (in a hat)©

    Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and went to meet their maker.

    The supreme deity turned to Al and asked: "Tell what is important about yourself." Al responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance and that protecting the earth's ecological system was most important. God looked to Al and said, "I like the way you think, come and sit at my left hand."

    God then asked Bill Clinton what he revered most. Bill Clinton responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most important. God responded, "I like the way you think, come and sit at my right hand."

    God then turned to Bill Gates, who was staring at him indignantly. God asked "What is your problem Bill Gates?" Bill Gates responded "I think you are sitting in my chair!"

    December 28, 2012 at 11:57 am | Report abuse |
  5. bobcat (in a hat)©

    After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, "It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth so I want you to kiss her."

    Adam answered, "Yes Lord, but what is a kiss?" So the Lord gave a brief description to Adam who took Eve by the hand and took her to a nearby bush. A few minutes later, Adam emerged and said, "Thank you Lord, that Was enjoyable."

    And the Lord replied, "Yes Adam, I thought you might enjoy that and now I'd like you to caress Eve." And Adam said, "What is a caress'? So the Lord again gave Adam a brief description and Adam went behind the bush with Eve.

    Quite a few minutes later, Adam returned, smiling, and said, "Lord, that was even better than the kiss." And the Lord said, "You've done well, Adam. And now I want you to make love to Eve." And Adam asked, "What is 'make love' Lord?"' So the Lord again gave Adam directions and Adam went again to Eve behind the bush, but this time he reappeared in two seconds.

    And Adam said, "Lord, what is a headache?"

    December 28, 2012 at 12:00 pm | Report abuse |
  6. Rascal Rabble

    cnn you're so cold...itsah blizzard! when you can't have warm buns yah pull out the warm puns....

    December 28, 2012 at 12:03 pm | Report abuse |
  7. Word Twisting

    At first Eve says God created Adam and Eve, and then you word twist to Eve claiming God made everyone.
    God did not make everyone. He made Adam and Eve. We are all children of Adam and Eve according to the bible, and DNA proves we all came from the same original parents.
    Some have disowned their dysfunctional parents and have been adopted as children of God, but most keep their families together no matter what. ("for the sake of the kids" is the most commonly used excuse)

    December 28, 2012 at 12:07 pm | Report abuse |
  8. Missing Updates

    1.) Sandy Hook Hoax
    2.) CIA agents being tranferred to DHS.

    December 28, 2012 at 12:19 pm | Report abuse |
  9. feigned ignorance

    @Banasy. You were correct last night. America is NOT a Christian Nation. Finally, we agree on something. 🙂

    December 28, 2012 at 12:35 pm | Report abuse |
    • banasy©

      Lol. Mark the date down.

      December 28, 2012 at 1:09 pm | Report abuse |
  10. Mary

    Why didn't the med ical examiner know how many boys and how many girls where shot?
    Why is this med ical examiner have any concrete answers to the reporters questions?

    December 28, 2012 at 12:46 pm | Report abuse |
  11. Mary

    It seems I'm being blocked again. There are many more questions unanswered.

    December 28, 2012 at 12:55 pm | Report abuse |
  12. Mary

    Whining? Whether it's 87 in one or 3 doesn't matter, the outcome is the same... our comments, our free speech is being tampered with.

    December 28, 2012 at 1:11 pm | Report abuse |
    • Joey Isotta-Fraschini ©™

      @ Mary:
      I have freedom to say or write almost anything at all.
      Corriere della Sera and the New York Times may reject my submitted works, as they have the freedom not to publish.

      December 28, 2012 at 1:54 pm | Report abuse |
  13. Mary

    @ banasy, I believe his u/n says he is being sarcastic ...

    December 28, 2012 at 1:12 pm | Report abuse |
    • banasy©

      I got that.
      I was, also.

      December 28, 2012 at 2:36 pm | Report abuse |
  14. chrissy

    Lol @ bobcat, i especially loved your lst joke, ty! Now WHY are CIA being transferred to Dept of Human Services? That makes no sense!

    December 28, 2012 at 2:50 pm | Report abuse |
  15. chrissy

    Well unless they are going to become social workers i guess. But given what their past jobs entailed i dont see how they would be qualified and im sure they would view it as a slap in the face rather than a promotion. Guess thats how you can really tell we are in a recession eh? That and milk raising to between $6~$8 a gal!

    December 28, 2012 at 2:58 pm | Report abuse |
    • banasy©

      Chrissy, consider who posted it; it has got to be the Department of Homeland Security...

      December 28, 2012 at 6:20 pm | Report abuse |
1 2 3 4 5 6