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Thursday's live events
President Obama will be sworn in for a second term in office on Monday, January 21. Watch CNN.com Live for all your inauguration coverage.
Today's programming highlights...
8:38 am ET - Academy Award nominations announced - Will "Lincoln" be sworn in for a Best Picture nod? Is the Academy boffo for "Argo"? Could "Skyfall" surprise? Those questions and more will be answered when Seth MacFarlane and Emma Stone reveal the nominees for the 85th Annual Academy Awards.
12:30 pm ET - Jodi Arias murder trial continues - Testimony continues in an Arizona courtroom in the case of Jodi Arias, who is accused of killing her ex-boyfriend, Travis Alexander.
1:30 pm ET - White House personnel announcement - With a title like that, you could expect the White House could be revealing any new hire. But the word is that President Obama will use the time to announce the nomination of his Chief of Staff, Jack Lew, to be the next Treasury Secretary.
CNN.com Live is your home for breaking news as it happens.
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One winter morning, an employee explained why he had shown up for work 50 minutes late. "It was so slippery out that for every step I took ahead, I slipped back two."
The boss eyed him suspi ciously. "Oh, yeah? Then how did you ever get here?"
"I finally gave up," he said, "and started for home."
This guy walks into a bar wearing a Lion jersey and carrying a little dog that also has a Lion jersey on with a little Lions helmet too. The guy says to the bartender, "Can my dog and I watch the Lions game here? My TV at home broke and my dog and I want to see the game."
The bartender replies, normally, dogs in the bar would not be allowed, but it is not terribly busy in here, so you and the dog can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if there is any trouble with you or the dog, I'll have to ask you to leave.
The guy agrees and he and his dog start watching the game. Pretty soon the Lions kick a field goal and the little dog jumps on the bar and walks down the bar and gives everyone a high five.
The bartender says, "Hey, that's cool! What does he do for a touch down?"
The guy answers, "I don't know, I've only had him for 3 years."
Chrissy would tend to agree with you!
Thanks for brightening my day!
@banasy
Always a pleasure to spread some sunshine your way.
Lmao @ bobcat, most awesome joke! And appropriately said i might add. :p
@chrissy
I'm trying to respond, but I'm being blocked again. So for now I'll just say hello and glad you liked the joke.
Hello banasy and chrissy
I'm trying to get back in my groove here. I'm just so tired of the gloom and doom in the posts anymore. Like yesterday, I make a comment about al queda in Syria, and the next thing I know, it's about literacy, or the lack thereof.
Lol bobcat, who could not like that joke? Particularly when its so factual.
@bobcat(in a hat) thank you for spreading sunshine my way too. The news of the day is becoming too depressing. We all know what the next posts are going to be about. So here we go again. Hello to my sistas too.
Hello my twisted sista! Hope your new year is off to a good start.
She'll love prison. Prepare to get fisted.