soundoff (36 Responses)

1. bobcat (in a hat)©
   

   POINTS TO PONDER

   Can fat people go skinny dipping?
   Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
   Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?
   Is it possible to be totally partial?
   What's another word for thesaurus?
   If a book about failures doesn't sell is it a success?
   If a funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
   When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
   If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
   If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest is there a sound?
   If a parsley farmer is sued, do they garnish his wages?
   .

   February 15, 2013 at 1:35 pm | Report abuse |
2. bobcat (in a hat)©
   

   I found myself drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda yesterday.
   It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.

   February 15, 2013 at 1:39 pm | Report abuse |
3. bobcat (in a hat)©
   

   I apologize in advance for this.

   A man walked into the bar at a hotel that was hosting a convention of personal hygiene product salesmen. He sat down at a table with some of his fellow salesmen.

   Immediately one of the other salesmen says to him: "Hey Bill! We were just talking about you. Your territory sucks! Nobody was ever able to make a living in it before you. But now, you son-of-a-gun, you win the all-expense-paid trip to Vegas three years in a row, selling almost twice as much as anyone else in the whole Southwest region! How in the heck do you do it?"

   Bill replied, "Its easy! I take a big engraved silver bowl and fill it up with fresh dog crap. Next I garnish it carefully with parsley sprigs, celery stalks, scallions, olives and thin-sliced red bell pepper rings. I take this to the airport and set it on a table on an elegantly embroidered white tablecloth. I serve samples on co cktail wafers to all who pass by. As soon as someone takes a bite they usually say 'Jesus Christ!! This stuff tastes like CRAP!!'

   I reply 'Yes sir! That's what it is!
   Would you care to buy a toothbrush?"

   February 15, 2013 at 1:45 pm | Report abuse |
   • banasy©
     

     OMG, Rawr!!!
     Good thing you gave us a caveat!

     February 15, 2013 at 3:16 pm | Report abuse |
   • Heymann
     

     I think you need to apologize some more. That's a crap joke.

     February 15, 2013 at 8:30 pm | Report abuse |
   • bobcat (in a hat)©
     

     Nope. I'm only allocated one apology per crap joke.

     February 15, 2013 at 8:33 pm | Report abuse |
4. chrissy
   

   Lmao @ bobcat, thank you.

   February 15, 2013 at 1:49 pm | Report abuse |
5. banasy©
   

   Please don't use the name "Pete" in such a way. It annoys me.
   Good grief.

   February 15, 2013 at 3:19 pm | Report abuse |
6. banasy©
   

   Nah, just a gentle jest from the Chavez thread. I have forgotten you lack a sense of humor.

   February 15, 2013 at 5:12 pm | Report abuse |
7. banasy©
   

   Yep.

   February 15, 2013 at 7:46 pm | Report abuse |
8. dazzle ©
   

   I see that IT is, damn him.

   February 15, 2013 at 8:51 pm | Report abuse |