soundoff (11 Responses)

1. bobcat (in a hat)©
   

   Leaving Montreal, I decided to stop at one of those rest
   areas on the side of the road.

   I go into the washroom. The first stall is taken, so I go into
   the second stall. I had just sat down when I hear a voice
   from the other stall............

   "Hi there, how is it going?"

   Okay, I am not the type to strike up conversations with
   strangers in washrooms sitting on a toilet. I didn't know
   what to say, so finally I say:"Not bad............"

   Then the voice says: "So, what are you doing?"

   I am starting to find this a bit weird, but I say:
   "Well, I'm going back east..............."

   Then I hear the person, all flustered, say:
   "Look, I'll call you back–every time I ask you a question
   this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me!

   March 14, 2013 at 10:11 am | Report abuse |
2. bobcat (in a hat)©
   

   The mind is an amazing thing.

   Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it
   deosn't mttaer waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are in;
   the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be
   at the rghit pclae.

   The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it
   wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos
   not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

   March 14, 2013 at 11:15 am | Report abuse |
3. bobcat (in a hat)©
   

   Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean, and Shamus, were stumbling home
   from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which
   led past the old graveyard.

   "Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "it's Michael O'Grady's
   grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."

   "That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Toole and
   it says here that he was 95 when he died." Just then, Shamus yells
   out, "Good God, here's a fella that got to be 145!"

   "What was his name?" asks Paddy.

   Shamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what
   else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."

   March 14, 2013 at 11:21 am | Report abuse |
4. saywhat
   

   lol @bobcat. Spreading cheers around as usual.

   March 14, 2013 at 12:42 pm | Report abuse |
5. saywhat
   

   And yep Prince. Good idea to learn Arabic, why not?
   You would then be able to discern between propaganda & truth. I think the Western leaders should do that & not let their spy chiefs and lobbyists interpret for them.

   March 14, 2013 at 12:51 pm | Report abuse |
6. bobcat (in a hat)©
   

   A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them.

   The mother mouse goes, "BARK!" and the cat
   runs away.

   "See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you see why it's important to learn a foreign language?"

   March 14, 2013 at 2:34 pm | Report abuse |
7. bobcat (in a hat)©
   

   A certain English lady visited Switzerland and was having difficulty finding a room, so she asked the local schoolmaster to help her. After a satisfactory room had been found, she returned to her home and did some packing.

   Suddenly, it occured to her that she hadn't noticed a W.C. (in England, the toilet is called a Water Closet), so she wrote the schoolmaster about the W.C.

   The Schoolmaster, not knowing the meaning, asked the parish priest and together they decided that it must mean "Wayside Chapel." He wrote her the following letter:

   Dear Madame,

   It is my pleasure to inform you that there is a W.C. just 9 miles from your home, in the center of a grove of pine trees. It seats 229 people, and it is open on Thursdays and Sundays. This is an unfortunate situation if you are in the habit of going regularly. You will, no
   doubt, be glad to hear that some people bring their lunches and make a day of it.

   I would especially recommend Thursdays, for then there is an Organ accompaniment. The accoustics in the W.C. are excellent; even the most delicate sound can be heard.

   My son was married in the W.C. and there was such a rush for seats that 10 people had to sit in the same seat. The looks on their faces were very interesting.

   My wife is sickly but dedicated. She doesn't go regularly, and she hasn't gone for nearly a year.

   I will be glad to reserve a seat in the W.C. for you, where you will be seen and heard by everyone.

   Hoping I have been of some as sistance.

   Sincerely yours,
   The Schoolmaster

   March 14, 2013 at 2:39 pm | Report abuse |
8. bobcat (in a hat)©
   

   *The Hokey Pokey*
   Original Lyrics

   Put your left foot in,
   Your left foot out,
   Your left foot in,
   And shake it all about.
   You do the hokey pokey
   And turn yourself around
   That's what it's all about.

   March 14, 2013 at 2:43 pm | Report abuse |
   • bobcat (in a hat)©
     

     *The Hokey Pokey*
     Shakespearean Style

     O proud left foot, that ventures quick within Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
     Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
     Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
     Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke.
     A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
     To spin! A wilde release from heaven's yoke.
     Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
     The Hoke, the poke - banish now thy doubt.
     Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.

     March 14, 2013 at 2:44 pm | Report abuse |
   • ..
     

     Props to you for this Shakspearean farce.

     March 14, 2013 at 10:05 pm | Report abuse |
9. saywhat
   

   You are on a roll today my friend.

   March 14, 2013 at 3:19 pm | Report abuse |