March 15th, 2013
10:22 AM ET

Friday's live events

Conservatives are gathering in Maryland for the annual Conservative Political Action Conference.  Watch Live for gavel-to-gavel coverage of the gathering.

Today's programming highlights...

9:30 am ET - CPAC 2013: Rep. Paul Ryan - The 2012 GOP vice presidential candidate addresses delegates at CPAC 2013.  Other speakers scheduled for today include the NRA's Wayne LaPierre at 10:45 am ET, Mitt Romney at 1:00 pm ET, Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal at 2:20 pm ET and Jeb Bush at 7:30 pm ET.

12:30 pm ET - Jodi Arias murder trial - A special Friday session of the trial will be a hearing regarding the testimony of a defense witness.

2:05 pm ET - Obama in Illinois - President Obama makes remarks at Argonne Lab in Lemont, Illinois. Live is your home for breaking news as it happens.

Filed under: Crime • Justice • On today • Politics
soundoff (20 Responses)
  1. bobcat (in a hat)©


    Not too long ago a scientist tried to clone himself.
    However, his clone was very obnoxious and lewd, while
    the scientist was well received and respected.

    Finally fed up with his experiment gone wrong, he threw
    his clone off the roof of the laboratory; killing
    the clone.

    He was arrested by the local police for... making an
    obscene clone fall.

    March 15, 2013 at 10:55 am | Report abuse |
    • bobcat (in a hat)©

      A man went to visit his doctor. "Doctor, my arm hurts. Can you check it out

      The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm whisper,
      "Hey Doc... could you lend me twenty bucks? I'm desperate!"

      The doctor says, "Aha! I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"

      March 15, 2013 at 10:56 am | Report abuse |
    • banasy©

      Garooooan! You did warn us! Lol!

      March 15, 2013 at 12:10 pm | Report abuse |
  2. saywhat

    Good morning folks.
    You do dig up the good ones for us @bobcat.

    March 15, 2013 at 12:44 pm | Report abuse |
  3. saywhat

    Well Pr.Obama leaves for a M.East tour shortly.
    Nowhere are hopes high, which is sad.

    March 15, 2013 at 12:45 pm | Report abuse |
  4. saywhat

    His first trip to Israel as Pr. is being labeled as a 'maintenance' trip. No glimmer of hope for the ever elusive peace which is not even on the agenda, sad.

    March 15, 2013 at 12:46 pm | Report abuse |
  5. saywhat

    US Presidents are touted as the 'most powerful' persons on this planet. Yeh right!.
    Their knees buckle when it comes to standing up for an equitable resolution of Isr/Pal conflict. The festering issue lying at the core of M.East problems.

    March 15, 2013 at 12:50 pm | Report abuse |
  6. saywhat

    Why is that? I don't know.
    Is Israeli lobby so strong that they can topple US govts? WE know they have managed to have a hold over our Congress. Is it some misguided fear of the Hereafter?

    March 15, 2013 at 12:53 pm | Report abuse |
  7. saywhat

    So Mr.President, why this tour?

    March 15, 2013 at 12:54 pm | Report abuse |
  8. bobcat (in a hat)©

    There was an old Italian man who had moved to the US in his youth. He
    worked hard his whole life at a fruit stand, frugally saving every
    penny he could, investing money in stocks. When the time came to
    retire, he had made enough to have his dream house built.

    He hired an architect and eagerly started planning out his mansion.
    After working out most of the rest, the architect asked if there was
    anything special the Italian man wanted to include.

    "Yes," he said, "I-a allus-a want one of-a those-a hollow estatues
    at-a the bottom of-a the stairs!"

    "No problem!" said the architect, "I'll pick a really beautiful one!"

    Comes the day for the grand opening of the house, and the Italian
    man's first look at it. He goes inside and excitedly runs around the
    house, looking at everything and exclaiming "Yes, yes! That's-a just
    how I want it!". He gets to the foot of the stairs and sees a stunning
    porcelain Venus De Milo on a pedestal.

    He turns to the architect and says "'ey! What's-a that?"

    The architect, somewhat baffled, says, "That's the hollow statue you
    asked for."

    "No, no, no!" the Italian man replies, shouting in the architect's
    face and waving his hands, "I no-a ask for that, I wanna hollow

    "Well, I'm afraid I don't understand. Could you explain to me what
    you want?" the architect asked.

    In the patient voice used on small children, the Italian man
    carefully said, "I want-a that-a thing. It sit-a on the table. It-a
    say 'Ring ring'. You pick-a it up and say-a . . . "hallo, estat you?"

    March 15, 2013 at 1:30 pm | Report abuse |
  9. bobcat (in a hat)©

    A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an old lady and an old
    gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous
    destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the
    dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity.

    He called them into his shop: "I know that on your pension you could never
    hope to have a holiday, so I am sending you off to a fabulous resort at my
    expense, and I won't take no for an answer".

    He took them inside and asked his secretary to write two flight tickets and
    book a room in a five star hotel. They, as can be expected, gladly
    accepted, and were off!

    About a month later the little old lady came in to his shop.

    "And how did you like your holiday?" he asked eagerly.

    "The flight was exciting and the room was lovely," she said.

    "I've come to thank you. But, one thing puzzled me. Who was that old
    guy I had to share the room with?"

    March 15, 2013 at 2:03 pm | Report abuse |
  10. bobcat (in a hat)©

    There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in
    ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
    Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

    March 15, 2013 at 2:11 pm | Report abuse |
  11. bobcat (in a hat)©

    A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up
    to the bar and announces "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

    March 15, 2013 at 2:12 pm | Report abuse |
  12. bobcat (in a hat)©

    Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
    became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
    never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
    lesser of two weevils.

    March 15, 2013 at 2:14 pm | Report abuse |
    • bobcat (in a hat)©

      Okay, I'm done torturing you guys.

      March 15, 2013 at 2:15 pm | Report abuse |
  13. banasy©

    My favorite? No pun in ten did.
    Actually, they're all pretty funny...thanks, Rawr.

    March 15, 2013 at 7:14 pm | Report abuse |
  14. saywhat

    Hey@bobcat. You out do yourself my friend and for us. Thanks a lot.Bless you.

    March 15, 2013 at 8:19 pm | Report abuse |
  15. saywhat

    My lone voice of grief with the wrongs that glare us in the face and dismay washes away for a time.

    March 15, 2013 at 8:24 pm | Report abuse |
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