soundoff (8 Responses)

1. bobcat (in a hat)©
   

   A man goes to a Halloween party with a woman on his back.

   The host asks him, "And what are you?"
   The man says, “I’m a snail."
   The host says, "And who's that on your back?"
   And the man says, "That's Michelle!"

   August 19, 2013 at 12:10 pm | Report abuse |
2. bobcat (in a hat)©
   

   2.An elderly couple was on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.
   Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her backside was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . . .please advise" The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap"

   August 19, 2013 at 12:13 pm | Report abuse |
3. bobcat (in a hat)©
   

   Is Shell Collecting Healthy?
   A man went to a doctor for a medical exam. After examining the man, the doctor proclaimed, “You’re in pretty good shape for a man of fifty.” “Did I say I was fifty?” the man replied. “I’m nearly sixty. Shell collecting keeps me fit and healthy. I do a lot of snorkeling and diving, and walk the beaches regularly. Cataloging my shells also exercises my mind.” The doctor replied, “Shell collecting may be a healthy activity, but your family’s genetic heritage probably has a lot to do with your helath. How old was your father when he died?” “Did I say my father was dead? He’s nearly eighty five and healthy as a horse. Of course, he’s a shell collector too. Spends plenty of time breathing the fresh air at the shore, gets plenty of exercise turning rocks and walking the beaches. It’s the shell collecting that keeps him healthy.” The doctor still wanted to make his point, and asked, “Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?” “Did I say my grandfather died? He's one hundred and five years old, but he's still active with his shell collecting. Of course, he’s had to cut back on SCUBA diving and lifting heavy rocks due to his age, but he still walks the beaches, breathing the fresh sea air and getting plenty of excercise. In fact, he just got married to a lovely young woman.” The doctor was astonished. “Your one hundred and five year old grandfather just got married!?! Why in this world would he want to get married at one hundred and five years old!?!” “Did I say he wanted to get married? . . .”

   August 19, 2013 at 12:16 pm | Report abuse |
4. catharsishungry07
   

   Oh my God..!! Gross.. Poor guy!

   August 19, 2013 at 1:44 pm | Report abuse |
5. Rascal Rabble
   

   well...hate to see what happens if he ever runs into puppydog's tail...lol

   August 20, 2013 at 6:50 am | Report abuse |
   • banasy©
     

     Hope he doesn't fall on his butt.

     August 20, 2013 at 2:04 pm | Report abuse |
6. banasy©
   

   Wow...most people would wash the scrape thoroughly...ew.

   August 20, 2013 at 1:50 pm | Report abuse |
7. banasy©
   

   Again with the blocking?

   August 20, 2013 at 1:52 pm | Report abuse |